Change

The hardest part of recovery is that it requires us to change.  We might be intrigued by the idea of recovery.  We might be inspired by stories about recovery.  We might be very well convienced of our need for recovery.  These and many other cognitive processes are relatively easy for us.  But the doing of recovery will be hard because we MUST change.  And change is difficult.  We are angry that we have to change.  We feel shame that we need to change.  And we are afraid that we will not be able to change.  We know that there will be moments when we find ourselves saying "I can't do it.  It's too difficult."
When to it comes to others around us, change can be difficulty in that aspect.  They expect the behavior from us that they have become use too.  Many are use to having to be in control or do for us and it's something that THEY must overcome and we cannot sacrifice our sobriety for anyone and at that time we may feel even lonelier thatn when we used.
Being a single father an the only "friends" that I had don't come around anymore. Many say it's out of respect because the only time we did hang out was when we were drinking.  I find myself alone a lot of times and I ask myself, is change worth the loneliness that I feel at times.  I look at how far through life I have come after I have left the Oaks and there is way more positive than negatives.  It started with honesty though.  With honesty comes the opening for change. This has caused a lot of hurt feelings by not going to my old places and hanging out with the old friends.  They don't understand why I can't go and not drink.  But I have to explain it to them so that they understand.  It's only then that SOME understand and are willing to let go.  Change is the most difficult and the most wonderful part of the recovery process for me.  It engages us in a major internal battle.  It is not comfortable battle.  But our capacity to change is the key.